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White House edits Orlando 911 transcript to say shooter pledged allegiance to NRA and Republican Party.
Children in Venezuela cook and eat their Christmas toys.Schoolchildren jailed for building only white snowmen.Trump signs executive order making California and New York national monuments; residents have two days to vacate.Barack Obama: "If I had a son, he'd look like Micah Johnson".After years of trial and error, CIA finally succeeds with the "waiting it out" technique on Fidel Castro.Democrats blame Hillary's criminal e-mail server for her loss, demand it face prison.Responding to Trump's surging poll numbers, Obama preemptively pardons himself for treason.Mary Landrieu (D-LA) can see Canada from South Dakota Susan Rice: IRS actions against tea parties caused by anti-tax video that was insulting to their faith Drudge Report reduces font to fit all White House scandals onto one page Obama: the IRS.Congressional Democrats: "We cannot just simply replace Obamacare with freedom because then millions of Americans will suddenly become free".Obama, we're just calling to ask if you want our foreign policy back.Breaking: Manning and Snowden have come out with strong condemnation of Donald Trump leaking classified information to Russia.Of Health and Human Services eliminates rape by reclassifying assailants as 'undocumented sex partners' Kremlin puts out warning not to photoshop Putin riding meteor juego de azar gratis tragamonedas unless bare-chested Deeming football too violent, Obama moves to introduce Super Drone Sundays instead Japan offers to extend nuclear umbrella.Following hurricane Matthew's failure to devastate Florida, activists flock to the Sunshine State and destroy Trump signs manually.Will the groundprog be frightened by its own shadow and hide - or will there be another season of insane protests?Obama transfers his Nobel Peace Prize to anti-Trump rioters.No, wait, my daughter can now marry a woman!' Janet Napolitano: TSA findings reveal that since none of the hijackers were babies, elderly, or Tea Partiers, 9/11 was not an act of terrorism News Flash: Sen.
Post-election shopping tip: look for the PoliticsFree label at your local grocer to make sure you don't buy from companies that don't want your business anymore.
Venezuela solves starvation problem by making it mandatory to buy food.

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Sudden rise in sea levels explained by disproportionately large tears shed by climate scientists in the aftermath of Trump's electoral victory.